Great question!
When it comes to dating, or marrying someone outside of your own religious tradition, there are several things to consider.
- How important is it to you that your significant other believes as you do, and holds a similar philosophy, values, and world-view as yourself?
- Do you expect that person to pray and to worship with you?
- Will you want to share religious holidays and observances together?
Religious and spiritual beliefs are core values, and are often closely bound up with one’s very identity. While dating someone from another tradition (or no spirituality at all) may seem fine, living day to day and sharing all of life with that person may prove difficult.
Conflicts will inevitably arise. But, if you truly love one another, you will find a way to work through such differences. In fact, dating or marrying someone from a different tradition may actually confirm you in your own beliefs.
Catholics have been conditioned to believe they should marry Catholics. However, marrying a Catholic is no guarantee that your marriage will be happy and holy. In fact, I have known of individuals who might have been better Catholics if they hadn’t married the Catholic they did!
Within the Catholic Church there is The Code of Canon Law, which dictates what constitutes a valid and licit marriage in the eyes of the Church. If your conscience is ordered by Canon Law, then you might decide to date and marry only other Catholics.
Here, I’d like to pose the question: is Canon Law at the service of the Church, or is the Church at the service of Canon Law?
When I was a Catholic priest I followed Canon Law as close to the letter as I could. However, I also recognized that before a word of Canon Law was written, there was something called the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Apart from the grace of the Gospel, Canon Law can become as heartless and burdensome as the laws of the Pharisees.
The question of marrying outside of one’s belief system was posed to St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. While Paul cautioned about the dangers of Christians being influenced by pagan beliefs, he also recognized the sanctity of marriage, even between a believer and an unbeliever.
He also hinted that perhaps the believing spouse may influence the other to become a believer. In my opinion, it comes down to a matter of maintaining one’s own integrity, values, and beliefs without compromise. If you must compromise your soul to be with a particular person, the relationship is already being built on sand. But, if the person you love supports your beiefs and helps you to further perfect your life of faith, I’d say love that person! God does!